Alone

How do you survive the world alone?
You lie,
Frequently,
To yourself.
You tell yourself
You choose to be alone,
You don't need them,
They're beneath you,
More trouble than they're worth,
But,
You could join them if you wanted to.
And sometimes you believe it.
You become apathetic,
Hateful even,
Of everyone,
But mostly,
If you're honest,
Yourself.
You put on this act,
This one man show,
Just for you,
Just to delude yourself.
And sometimes you believe it.
And sometimes you almost feel alive.
But then you remember it,
The truth.
That you didn't reject them,
That they rejected you.
This knoweledge,
This pain,
Always gnawing,
Is always just below the surface.
And it hurts,
And it's ubearable,
And you don't want it.
But it's always there.
And so you act,
And you lie,
And you delude yourself.
And sometimes you believe it.
And sometimes you almost feel alive.
But mostly,
You just feel empty.